How to read your dog’s body language.

Just because they can’t speak, doesn’t mean they don’t have a lot to say. Of course, our dogs do use their voice to communicate with us, even if we don’t speak the same language; maybe a bark to indicate they need help reaching a ball that has rolled under the couch, or a whine telling you they’re ready for their dinner.  But did you know there are other ways that your dog communicates with you every day, without “saying” a thing?  

How to know if your dog is (politely) asking for some space.

While most dog owners know that a growl or showing teeth means “back off”, many aren’t quite as attuned to the more subtle ways their pet is telling them that they’re uncomfortable.

Since they’re so cute and cuddly looking, it’s easy to think that dogs want hugs, kisses, and attention all the time. And perhaps some do! But just like us, dogs also enjoy their space – some more than others. Since they can’t tell us in words whether they want more hugs or they’d prefer for us to give them space, it’s important to pay attention to their body language and understand the other ways that they communicate so that they don’t feel the need to escalate.

We have to remember that dogs aren’t people, and they often do not view hugs, kisses and personal space the same way we do. In the animal kingdom, humans are viewed as predators, even when we domesticate and gain the trust of an animal. For an animal like a dog, a larger being (us) putting our arms around them with no way to escape can be uncomfortable, even when the person is their loved pet parent. It’s not personal, it’s just instinct.

Here are some signs that you can look for in your dog’s body language that indicate that they’d like a little space.

• “Whale eye” and lip licking.

It sounds a little silly, but think of whale eye as “side eye”. If you notice your dog is giving you some side eye, they are probably trying to tell you that whatever you’re doing is a bit much for them and they want their space. Similarly with licking their lips or giving a flick of their tongue – these are other signs that they’re not interested in cuddles at that time. However, it’s important to always look at behaviors in context, both in combination with other behaviors, the situation, and the individual’s personality. Dogs will often lick their lips when you grab a treat, in that context it doesn’t mean “back off”. Instead, it typically means “treat now please!!”. In contrast, if your dog is relaxing by themselves, and they give some side eye and a tongue flick when you approach, that can often mean they’re feeling a little uncomfortable with something about your approach. It could be that you’re approaching with direct eye contact, or that they would just rather be left alone at the moment.

• “Appeasement belly” and giving kisses.

Sometimes when a dog rolls over and shows their belly, it’s not an invitation for affection. This behavior can also mean “I’m uncomfortable with this, but I also don’t want to fight”; they’re appeasing you. Dogs will also sometimes give kisses as appeasement to say “I love you, but please back up”.

Since asking for belly rubs and giving kisses can also be affectionate behaviors that your dog uses to bond with you, it can be tricky to tell the difference! A good rule of thumb in these instances is to give your dog some space and see how they respond. If you back off and they come to you asking for more affection, you’ll know that they are comfortable with the attention, or at least that they want your attention even if they are also a bit uncomfortable or anxious. But if you move away and they keep doing their own thing, you’ve made the right judgment call by giving them the space they’ve asked for.

• Tense body or ears.

This one is a bit easier to identify if you’re paying attention. If your dog just generally looks stiff or tenses up when you go in for some affection, this is probably a sign that they’d prefer to have their space. They may even lean away from you, sometimes while lifting their paw as if to push you away or say “no thank you”.

• Tail wagging.

While it is slowly becoming common knowledge, many people still may not know that not all tail wags are friendly and happy! Tail wagging can communicate many things including tension, anxiety, flirtation and of course, joy. A stiff upright tail wag is often tension, while a “fluttery” tail wag that is low or between the legs can be appeasement, anxiety or fear. A truly happy and comfortable tail wag is typically even with the body and “loose”, either relaxed and slow or with full body wiggles when excited.

Consent Tests:

If you are ever unsure whether your dog is enjoying affection, you can perform what is called a “consent test”. A consent test is checking in by stopping affection for a moment and possibly giving a little space, to see if the dog asks for more. Essentially, let them come to you. Maybe your dog was enjoying chest scratches and when you moved to pet their head, they gave you some side eye. You then perform a consent test, and they nudge your hand. They could be saying “yes keep petting me, but only on my chest please. The head makes me uncomfortable.”

Don’t worry, seeing these signs in your dog does not mean they hate you, so try not to take it personally! It could be a fleeting desire for some alone time, or it’s possible that your pet just isn’t the touch-y feel-y type, and that’s okay too. Our dogs deserve to feel safe and comfortable and the best way we can do that for them is by showing them respect. Plus, their desire for affection may grow when they see their human respecting their subtle body language cues. Let them come to you!